"you were the healer"

There are not many words to describe the way things are transpiring around here - we are mostly trying hard to follow our feelings.

I believe in that practice fiercely: following tender impressions.

But it can be scary because it means I take a step into the dark, or begin at zero, or…who knows what else?! Sometimes it feels like I’ll fall into a dark pit and a monster will eat me! On the other side of softening and submitting, of listening, is an elaborate pile of unknowns!

Sometimes what we cannot see feels like darkness. But that’s only because we haven’t given time the opportunity to shed light on it yet! Who knows but all your favorite colors are up ahead on high beams, shining blinding light you cannot see only because you haven’t stepped into it yet?!!

A month or so ago Annie was bouncing all over “Pa” (my dad) and I asked, “Dad, was I like that when I was little? Was I exactly like her?” (Because in my mind she and I are (mostly) exactly the same…)

My dad responded, “You were always taking care of people; you were the healer.”

In that instant he vocalized (and I learned!) my heart’s greatest desire! All I want is to be an instrument that is used to fill people with light and confidence.

When I die, I want to know I followed every impression, left nothing on the table, left no one behind, reached everyone I was sent to reach, on this, my personal journey through mortality.

I want to be an instrument in the hands of Light.

Here is where our recent changes come into play:

First, we do not have more answers than we do! We ride on faith daily for guidance and assistance. We practice asking, waiting, thinking, working through scenarios, praying, and waiting some more. We listen to the tiny impressions, thoughts, and feelings that come. And we receive answers.

****If you have questions, find a quiet place to pray, to talk, to converse and commune with heaven. Be open about all of your worries, your plans, your thoughts, your goalsdreamshopesfearswishes everything!!!

Then write down your impressions and thoughts and feelings.

Your answers will come, I promise! We are living it and it’s true.

Second, we had a plan, but then something unexpected (a miracle!) occurred so I need to wait for that to work itself out before I start blabbing anymore about plan details ;)

Third, we are moving eventually, so my blog and brand will change, but the idea has become sweet to me! I am ecstatic to evolve with everything this business and I become together.

Next, photography has been a spiritual journey and I want to be true to that.

So,

I feel “brightness” in announcing that my blog will mostly be composed of my spiritual thoughts, stories, experiences, and prayers, including specific things I learn from study. I will be sharing openly my thoughts about my life and what comes of the impressions I follow.

Ultimately, I want to share light - in all its forms. I get to do that through pictures and (very lacking) words (encompassed in big feelings.)

I want you to know you can find answers and help and guidance from Heaven!

I want you to be filled with light and confidence.

If you are aching, I want you to feel love, compassion, mercy, grace, and healing.

I hope you find those things here.

All my love, forever,

Christina

TRAVEL SHOOTS are about to begin around the bend of the new year! Contact me to book your DREAM shoot (I’m serious. Even your husband will say, “that was fun!!”

Bay Area! Nor Cal. Everywhere in CA. Everywhere period :) also SEATTLE, I’ll be back in March! East coast, NYC, North Carolina!! “Dream big and after you’ve done that, dream bigger” 🥰Howard Schultz -Starbucks CEO

"...to the core."

 "...we love each other, to the core." That is how Kennedy describes the love she and Chris share.

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle, comings and goings, and stuff that presents itself in our relationships, it can be hard to remember that we loved one another "to the core." Somehow those moments, mistakes, or habits, become more important than the person we love, or once loved. 

While it is work, and was not meant to be easy, I am sure the growing pains will have unified us. When we are old and gray, and he paints my fingernails and feeds me oatmeal (not to mention changes my diapers), the hard stuff will be nothing more than a distant memory.  

This is my reminder to recommit to choose love.

To always choose love.

Love and Choice

"If we did not have moral agency we would simply be puppets manipulated by the strings of fate. ...the great purpose of mortality is to learn. [Faith] is a spiritual gift...and it always requires that we act first, and then the power comes. We don't know where to go, we don't know what to do. But my trust in Him enables me to act. He blesses me with His power, that confidence increases, we then can ultimately navigate the most difficult circumstances in life, knowing that we will never be alone, and we will always have His help.

"The greatest gift that the Father gave to us was His Son, and the gift that comes to us through the Savior's atonement is agency. So agency is central to the Father's plan, and it is the capacity to act and learn from our own experiences. That is the very essence and purpose of being here in mortality." a 3-minute video by David Bednar

The greatest lesson I have learned in my life is: This life is about love. If I am not loving, I am not doing it right.

The greatest gift we have is the gift of the atonement, from which I am bestowed the gift of choice. My greatest job is to love, no matter another's choice.

I love this family. This is my family. And their photos tell a perfect story.

A Perfect Sunday and a Dive into Underwater Photography

A Sunday where little was planned, little was scheduled, except just being together. Lazy morning, a great day at church, easy, delicious pasta salad for dinner and then: THE BEACH. We are a little obsessed with our raft. 

I cannot wait until I offer underwater photography SESSIONS! I will soon! Here in Seattle I'm sure it'll be a huge hit (baha)! But seriously, how fun is this?!?! I was just using a GoPro, but the shots are stellar! I'm saving my pennies for underwater housing.

Tyler and Annie snuck up on us. They loaded up in the raft around the corner from us who were sitting on the beach already. Tyler had thrown a tennis ball in the raft and started rowing when he saw it floating in the water beside them. Annie said, "No, I no wike dat. No wannit." What Annie wants Annie gets. I love her Spanish syntax combined with English words. Hearing her language develop brings me so much joy. She stutters frequently, but I'm not worried right now. (Kids often stutter when they are learning to talk because their brain is moving faster than their mouths can keep up - add another language and they have 2-3 times the work to do, or sounds to assimilate.) I think she is doing amazing learning two languages, and I hope she sees the value of knowing two languages as she grows. 

After Tyler and Annie make their grand entrance Will and Zoe jumped in the raft too, and they all sailed out to sea. 

Annie and Zoe are brave souls. They loved playing in the water and couldn't get enough. Even though they were shivering badly they wouldn't come out to dry off. Will would tell Zoe, "Zoe, don't go out that far, be careful." And she would respond, "No, I'm big girl." And add something about how she was fine walking straight out into wide open waters (in her Patagonia dress). Kate kept saying, "I doe in 'ere. I doe in 'ere" while pointing to the water. She wanted to swim in it like Annie and Zoe but when Tyler would drop her down she would say, "no, no, no."

Zoe grabbed the seaweed she kept saying, "It's grass!" and put it on her head.

When we got back in the car Annie said she needed the heater cranked. When Tyler or I tried to turn it down she made us turn it back on. I love my water babies - who needs a heated pool to learn to swim in Seattle...? 

I love pictures that are fresh, new to me, and outside my comfort zone. I'm crazy excited to see where this goes...

Camping at Mt. Hood

Tyler and I joke that it's a good thing our friends do cool things otherwise we would never go anywhere. And the Pollocks! They are always up for a trip and Mt. Hood didn't disappoint. Our campsite was an Airbnb on some property in Carson, WA. The host lives in an RV at the top of the hill, and at the bottom of the hill by the creek, lies the campsite, a fire pit, a table and chairs, a porta potty, a sink with potable water, a shower in a tent, and firewood free for the taking. 

We ate hot dogs every night followed by s'mores. Rebecca and Will even cooked corn in their husks, in the campfire, that turned out delicious! We began day 1 on a hike around Mirror Lake, where once again I got sick of carrying a baby and Tyler ended up carrying two (and he's so hopeful I can do Shi Shi soon--insert laughing emoji here). We passed a mom who was helping her son fish with a little plastic fishing pole that reminded me of my Shamu fishing pole from years past. My dad would take my brother, sister, and I fishing, each with our little plastic fishing poles in the deserted lakes of Modoc County in northern California. I remember him spending looootttttssss of time untangling the string that knotted up inside the whale. 

At the U-Pick farm hung a ginormous swing. There are some photos of Annie and Tyler blurring by and they remind me of this paradoxical life that moves so fast, yet too slow. I recently found a video of Kate as a baby cracking up in her pack-n-play while a teenie-tiny-less-than-two-year-old Annie was repeatedly hopping over the edge of it tickling her. In the video they look so small. So small, even though it's only months ago! And while I still feel I am drowning in babies and crumbs and chunks of who knows what under the kitchen table, it seems those days were soooo long ago. I suddenly missed my baby, tiny girls: their short hair, their curls, their huge mouths in comparison to their little bodies, tantrums mostly about not wanting to be left in their beds at night, their teeny hands and arms wrapped so tightly around my neck. I wish I could go back in 15 minute increments that didn't involve diapers and dishes and laundry and nursing - but did involve sleep, lots of sleep. Seems like the grandparent life really is the best life. (A lady on the bus today told my fussy girls, "When you're my age you get to take naps all over again." I responded smiling, "Can't come soon enough." And then she said, "Then the doctor tells you, 'Just go take a nap' and you say, 'But I've been doing that for hours...'")

Speaking of babies growing up so fast and too slow all at the same time: I never want to forget Kate's waddle down our hallway: legs, thighs, bum jiggling, jiggling, jiggling, as she runs from anyone who will chase her. Sometimes she tries to run so fast she looks like she's on an elliptical, propelling her jiggling self forward with each step, laughing so hard she can't keep herself upright and she's tilted forward the entire time. My dad once said, regarding my life home with babies, "Not a care in the world." I think he's right.

When our Mirror Lake hike came to an end Tyler made multiple wrong turns to finally land us at the U-Pick cherry picking farm we had seen on the drive up. There is a system to cherry picking, I learned: sign away your life on the release form for a ladder. Wait for said ladder. After you meet the 12,693 requirements for being able to climb the ladder you can pick the cherries: beautiful, juicy, sweet Rainiers and Bings bursting at the seams. Will began the picking adventure since he was the one who signed the release form. He picked - making sure to keep stems on as advised - tossed to Tyler, who then handed to Annie, who in turn passed to Zoe, who happily put each one in the bucket. Then Kate would eat some. After we filled our 5 lb. bucket, and our bellies - and took loads of photos - we headed to the lavender farm.

The field was one giant air freshener wafting pure deliciousness through the air. I could have eaten everything lavender infused while sitting beside those thousands of lavender bushes. They should sell lavender-infused brownies with a side of lavender milkshakes. This pit stop was slow-moving and refreshing. We practically had the field to ourselves, as they had just closed the shop, except for an older lady standing in the middle of it painting - for good reason as there was a gorgeous view of Mt. Hood. Tyler and Annie had some daddy-daughter summersault time, and the photos are some of my favorites from the trip. Moving on from the lavender fields we stopped on the Columbia River to watch endless amounts of kite surfers!

Photos of our family were taken by Rebecca Pollock, and Tyler even picked up my camera at the Lavender Farm and took some photos of Kate playing with the sign, sitting in the lavender, and eating a big fistful of dirt!