Ira Glass (host and producer of This American Life) talks about beginning artists and creativity saying, "No one tells people who are beginners...is that all of us who do creative work...we get into it because we have good taste. But it's like, there's a gap, that for the first couple years you are making stuff, what you're making isn't so good. It's not that great. It's trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it's not quite that good. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, your taste is still killer and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you're making is kind of a disappointment to you...A lot of people never get past that phase, a lot of people quit...they knew it fell short...It's totally normal and the most important possible thing you can do is do a lot of work. Do a huge volume of work...Because it's only by actually going through a volume of work that you are actually going to catch up and close that gap. And your work your making will be as good as your ambitions." (Watch the full quote here.)
After the past year spent trying, fighting, watching, learning, listening, practicing, failing, trying again...I HAVE FINALLY TAKEN PICTURES THAT I FEEL ARE ME! THEY ARE WHAT I'M REACHING FOR, DREAMING OF. MANY OF THESE PHOTOS ARE SO EXCITING TO ME! I I WANT TO CRY AND SHOUT AND LAUGH AND AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I still have things I want to fix, things I need to figure out, things that will make all of this more...me, but I need time. And I can't "wait for time to pass" until I feel I've made it (and "made it" doesn't exist anyway...) I will keep showing up, every day, doing what I currently know how to do, and every ounce of progress will be celebrated. I am in the process of moving through my "volumes of work" to close the gap and finally make work that "will be as good as [my] ambitions."
Thanks for stickin' around - your positive feedback is encouraging and I love you all!