smatterings

My girls,

The more I learn about counseling clients, the more I believe in un-knowing, not-knowing. The more a therapist walks alongside their client, the more information they wait for their client to reveal to them.

In our culture of “I know”, I believe there is a quiet confidence in not knowing; and lately, it’s where I am finding “home”, finding God. It is good to say “I know ____ is true” to the extent that my very next question is, “But what more can be true?” or “What else can I know?” Then, when my light and knowledge has grown regarding a topic, it becomes clear that what I formerly “knew” wasn’t entirely true, but a path to more truth (which won’t be entirely true either. This has been my, very limited, experience with the words: “growing brighter and brighter until the perfect day”.)

Not-knowing seems a gateway to experiencing…observing…asking…pondering…wondering… and is increasing my capacity for stillness, for waiting.

There is something I believe I know, that seems to hold true in every situation in our mortal sojourn: faith is always “unto repentance”, which simply means looking at Jesus Christ in every thought. I don’t do anything more to earn salvation or exaltation or anything of the sort; I look at Jesus. He does the healing, the changing, the perfecting, the growing, the mending, the repairing, the “still-ing". I look—He does everything else. These verses tonight reminded me of this truth I believe in so deeply.

“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things … that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in you hearts.”

In other words, before you even get into the reading and the praying and whatnot, just remember. remember Him. Remember how merciful He is, has always been, and always will be. Remember His infinite sacrifice, which He uses to offer everyone infinite amounts of mercy. If, one day, you don’t know where to go or what to do or what to think, consider beginning there: mercy.

(As an aside, as I read and write about this verse, I read the last line differently. I heard Moroni say, “when you read these things, remember the Lord’s mercy … ‘and ponder it in your hearts.’” Just spend time there, pondering—mercy—and see what happens… That’s a beautiful thought for me.)

As I continued reading Moroni 10, I arrived at verse 26. Mormon is speaking with some passion about things “he knows.” “And wo unto them who shall do these things away and die, for they die in their sins, and they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God; and I speak it according to the words of Christ; and I lie not.” I don’t believe Mormon is lying, I think that every verse in the Book of Mormon needs a follow up line, “unless they repent” or “as oft as my people repent” or “if you repent” or…a million other ways to say “BUT, REPENTANCE.” I feel Mormon’s passion. I am a passionate person. I love to “know” what I “know.” But therein lies my ever-continuing lesson: Awareness of what I don’t know might be proving more powerful than anything else of which I might say, “I know.”

Here are some things about which I (right now) like to say “I know”

I know Jesus loves us, loves everyone. I know we all need Him, one not any less than another. In other words, we all need an infinite Jesus to cover all of us. There is no part of me that does not need him; there is no part of anyone else that does not need Him, no matter how “good” or “bad” our actions. Every child of God needs a Savior to cover all of them. There is nothing I can do, no matter how good, that causes me to need Him any less than anyone else. Everyone will be saved and exalted and perfected “on conditions of repentance” and “in no other way.” It doesn’t matter what we do; it matters what HE did, and HE did all.

These are my favorite things to know.

I love you, my beautiful, beautiful girls. Love, your mama

Moroni 10:3, 26

D&C 50:24

And others…

My bio is live! I can start accepting clients now at my internship. Click here and scroll to the bottom to read my blurb.

My dear friend, Marné, is making vintage bow ties (fully adjustable), long ties, Christmas dresses, and bows for Christmas! Every item is made from vintage and repurposed fabric. She is an expert seamstress!! Her Insta is @OrchardBlossoms and here is her Etsy link.

The girls are singing in the Millennial Choirs and Orchestras Christmas performance in December and I can hardly wait.

Lastly, I get to speak at a single’s conference here in Arizona in December, which I am entirely thrilled about.

Love you all. Happy Wednesday.

What I’m reading

Fight Right

In an Unspoken Voice

Radical Acceptance

and a bunch of textbooks

Also, squarespace changed how I can insert photos and I Keep forgetting not to type everything all at once because I cannot insert a photo into the middle of it. If i have that wrong, someone please help me.

North Carolina Needs Our Help

One of my favorite people (Brenda, who lives in NC) sent this message to our group yesterday. Any and all help is appreciated.

“Hey friends! If you haven’t heard the western part of North Carolina, even as close as 45 min west of us, have been flooded, small towns washed away, people missing, no power or food since Friday. It’s a war zone out there. My sis in law in Utah told me they haven’t seen or heard very much about it which is surprising to me. It’s really bad. Tons of dead bodies are just floating around because they don’t have the resources to clear them. I think FEMA just got involved but what’s amazing is the people here, regular citizens, just got right to work. We have been working with this small airport that has volunteer pilots flying to all these tiny towns that haven’t seen help at all. We have been collecting items to pack and send on trailers and small planes/helicopters. We’ve bought our own donations and people here have been so generous however we are seeing our own local stores depleted of basic goods for our own towns. Water, diapers, formula etc are out. People still need so much help. I can’t even imagine what they are going through just what I’ve seen and it’s hard to imagine. I’ve seen people strapping their horses with supplies, friends taking their side by sides into the mountains, driving crazy roads just to get to people and get them supplies. This is my home, these are my people that have adopted me as a Carolinian. I’m heartbroken for all the small towns we’ve traveled to and loved. I wouldn’t normally ask but these are people that would drop everything and help us, too, because that’s the kind of people they are. If you are able to please use this Amazon wish list (https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3R45PD0O48IKE?ref_=wl_share ) to buy items they need. You can use the address they have or ship them to me (225 Cove Creek Loop, Mooresville, NC, 28117) and I can bring them. I go there everyday so I can bring them asap. If you can’t, please pray and pass this along to family/friends. I love you all.”

The pilots (on their own dime) are flying to the remote areas no one can reach, taking aid, and coming back telling people what more the families need who live out there. If people cannot contact loved ones, the pilots go out searching. Moms might have formula but no bottles. Shelves in neighboring towns are being emptied because everything is sent to those who lost all. Workers chopping trees are being attacked by yellow jackets. It is dire in every way. Every day new needs arise. Here is a link to know what is needed that day:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566554308647&name=xhp_nt__fb__action__open_user

Pictures of life in our new home.

a reminder

My beautiful girls,

I recently heard a song that said something like, “We praise God in Jesus name…”

Jesus is God. He has earned that station for himself and for every single one of us. His work and glory is to elevate us there. And so it is Him of who I talk and preach and prophesy and worship and praise with my whole soul, “to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile and that JESUS is the CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD”.

He is your lifeline, your momentum, the solution to every problem, the answer to every question. Everything you need flows from Him to you. And when He seems silent, He is offering you time and space to grow from your own experience; letting you choose for yourself. He is all-knowing and all-powerful and lives to make you the same. 

Mama loves you. I wish I could parent like Him. When I can’t, remember Him. He’ll show you everything you need to know.

To my friends,

We have had quite the change of events over here. I started school this week! I am in the online Master’s of Social Work program through the University of Utah. My end goal is to become a trauma therapist. I am doing my practicum at a counseling clinic nearby, and am thrilled to be learning from my field instructor.

In the last couple years I have experienced a purging of stuff that I did not even know was inside of me. Now that it is dissipating, I have experienced so much healing, growth, and change, and want to help others through their own journey of facing themselves—of going to the places inside of them that hurt the most so they can be healed.

There is no work more powerful than being able to see one’s self clearly. It can be easy to think we can see everyone else clearly, can solve their problems, know what they need to change; but to see one’s self clearly is a miracle and a gift, and where all healing begins. No matter what’s happening on the outside, I need change and healing inside of me.

There is no lesson in my life that I have learned that is more powerful than this: If I have problems, if I am uncomfortable, there is no one to look at, blame, or point fingers at—it’s all in me. Repair will begin the moment I stop looking out and look in.

I thank God—Jesus—for attuning my eyes to me so I could then turn to Him to be healed.

Lastly, I will be at Faith Matter’s Restore conference in Sandy, UT, selling my book! Sept 5-7. A generous donor wanted everyone to have the opportunity to attend Restore, so tickets are $25. Use code BUDDYPASS to get a $25 ticket. There is no limit.

References

Book of Mormon, Title Page

2 Nephi 25:26

Mosiah 4:11

Matthew 12:35

We went to the beach for our last few days of freedom last week and ate açaí bowls every day.

beautiful because of Him

Chatting with one of my best friends today, and witnessing her beautiful life, I remembered: Jesus is making it perfect; I just open my eyes wide and take it all in.

And give thanks.

(2 Samuel 22)

(Photos by @jpryanphoto/@80westcollective) Weston, Idaho

stillness. silence. repeat.

“For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: ‘In returning and rest shall ye be saved, in quietness … shall be your strength;’” Isaiah 30:15

In the book I am reading, The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter, Easter interviews a nutrition guru/genius/out-of-the-box thinker, Trevor Kashey. Speaking of people’s health Kashey says, “I quickly ‘solved’ hundreds of problems just by virtue of improving a person’s awareness of their own behavior … I got the idea to do this from the Hawthorne effect [an idea that people change their behaviors when they know they are being watched] … It’s a nuisance to academic scientists looking for complete control but an integral part of my empirical science where I’m looking to give control back to people (The Comfort Crisis, p. 145).” Kashey helps people bring awareness to themselves so healing can reign. In all I have studied about Jesus Christ, this is exactly how He works with us.

If we want changed behaviors, then we have to become keenly aware of ourselves. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? These are difficult questions, the answers to which we tend to cover, bury, and hide with screens, scrolling, avoidance, and other “noise.” The catch is, the more unaware of ourselves we are, the easier it is to blame others for our discomfort. This is the opposite of repentance and healing. Satan would have us believe: I am out of control; when others change, then I will be happy, at peace, calm… An honest awareness of ourselves—our hearts, thoughts, and emotions—is how we reclaim our agency (control), and afford others the liberty of theirs. As soon as we do, “immediately doth the great plan of redemption take place (Alma 34:31)”. Immediately healing (change) begins.

Repentance is simply awareness. God knows everything about us. We are not hiding anything from Him; we hide from (avoid) ourselves, our discomfort. When Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, I believe they then hid from themselves, not God. They did not want to face the discomfort of being honest about what they had done. When God came to them, He invited them to see themselves (and then His Son) clearly. This is where all power and change lies: can I choose to see myself clearly, without excuse, without blaming anyone or anything else for my emotions?

“Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts [don’t cover, bury, or numb your discomfort any longer], immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you (Alma 34:31).” 

The greatest gift we can give ourselves (and God) is (our “true and honest heart”) an awareness of ourselves—every discomfort, pain, sorrow, heartache, illness, and general lack of control we feel. Awareness opens the door for the Savior to do His work. This is our most profound use of agency, it is how we “take our agency back” and “give others their agency back.” Jesus does the work of change, healing, and ultimate perfection. 

We don’t have to change our feelings. We don’t have to make ourselves happier. We don’t have to “work really hard” at overcoming our faults. We simply need awareness—to “be still”—to be okay with being uncomfortable. (Barring abuse), in our stillness during discomfort is where the Savior and the Holy Ghost come to us and heal our hearts. Improved thought, feeling, and action naturally follow the changes they make to our hearts (Mosiah 5:2, Alma 5:7). Change, perfection, and salvation do not come because of what we do, they come because of everything God does—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The first question the angel asked Alma and the sons of Mosiah “as they were going about rebelling against God (Mosiah 27:13)” was, “why persecutest thou the church of God?” It was an invitation for them to become aware of themselves. Christ offered the same to the woman at the well, “Go, call thy husband, and come hither (John 4:16).” He is always asking us, “Are you aware of yourself?” And then, his invitation is unchanging, “Come. Be still. I will heal you.”

“Do you know who you are (your weakest points?) and do you know who I am (my strongest ones?) Do you know what I do, how I do it?”

—This is how I hear the Savior speak to us.

The deeper we are willing to go–the more aware we are willing to become of ourselves–and the more still we are willing to be, the more healing, strength, and power comes. The Savior has overcome all and gives us power to do the same when we stop scrolling, moving, bustling, and just sit; that is how we allow Him in to the places we wish we could wholly avoid, ourselves.

My invitation this week is to sit. Put phones away. Screens away. Turn the TV off. The music off. Turn off the noise. All of it. And sit. In silence. Sit through the discomfort. Sit for as long as you can. As often as you can. And wait. With no end in sight.

It works. 

He works. 

In time miracles unfold…

From The Comfort Crisis, p. 144:

“The scientist in me would always say, ‘OK, to figure out how to get you to point B, we must find point A.’” said Kashey, after we’d settled into his office and I asked him how he began to develop his methods, the same methods he still uses. “I’ve never believed that people should be doing more or new things. Continuously trying to add more stuff on top of what you’re doing and constantly experimenting with shiny new things is almost never the answer. It just adds another layer of stress and complication. I believe people should be doing less and eliminating limiters to progress. It’s more effective to modify the behaviors and thought patterns that are keeping you from progressing,” said Kashey. “Because your progress is only as good as your most obvious limiter”.

PS We moved to Phoenix a couple weeks ago. It is a dream. Pictures are from our new home.

What I’ve been loving reading lately: How to Meditate Pema Chödrön, The Comfort Crisis Michael Easter, Supercommunicators Charles Duhigg, The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation Joseph Goldstein, Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans Michaeleen Doucleff, Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life Bill Perkins, and many others on Buddhism, specifically.

miracles

I cannot begin to share the experiences others share with me as they read All We Can Do: a fresh view of God, ourselves, and the world. They are leaving me speechless and in tears. Thank you for reading it, for sharing it, and for sharing your thoughts and miracles with me.

I spoke at a Young Women/Young Men mutual event this week and will speak at girl’s camp this summer. Wednesday evening I was blown away by how amazing the youth are—eyes wide open trying to catch it all, raising their hands constantly to read verses, shouting out answers to questions, deeply engaged with our scripture study. I left wishing I could hug all of them, hear their hearts, and follow their lives—what they do and who they become.

I also began writing for a blog this year

January: https://latterdaydisciples.com/firstarticleoffaith/

February: https://latterdaydisciples.com/articles-of-faith-2-3/

February: https://latterdaydisciples.com/love-thy-neighbor/

March: https://latterdaydisciples.com/opposition/

Lastly, Megan (from the Latter-day Disciples Podcast) and I had this conversation, which was so fun! The non-youtube version can be found anywhere you listen to podcasts. Here is the Apple version.

There are a few changes on our horizon, once again. Maybe the Judds wouldn’t be the Judds without moving around so much. If you know anyone selling or renting a house in Arizona, we might be interested…

So much love and gratitude for this ongoing restoration, for the light and knowledge that rains down on all who seek truth. I cannot say thank you enough for sharing this journey with me.

Love,

Christina Judd

Photo Above: The girls are in the Salt Lake Children’s Choir. The choir sang at the Interfaith Roundtable in the Tabernacle on Temple Square on Sunday.

Photo Below: Vanessa Quigley, CEO of Chatbooks, posted this to her Insta stories in January!

90 seconds of your time

Hi Friends,

I went on a bike ride yesterday with a friend to pick up her boys from school, where I saw one of my new friends. She shouted from across the sidewalk, “I just started your book! It’s everything I needed to learn.”

My heart has never been happier hearing your thoughts as you read! Thank you for sharing them with me.

Now, I would love help spreading the message: Would you fill out this 3-question form that will recommend me as a guest on the All In Podcast?!

https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=8C0N3Eaxc0eXB1i4pV8qwfNoHAadnlFKkli2rvzv4T5UOVVQTkFMV0VDME9UOEoxMUtVTVBUSDUzOCQlQCN0PWcu

Please and thank you, thank you, thank you!

Christina

thank you (forever and ever and ever)

To all who purchased, read, and shared my book,

Thank you!

To all who purchased 1-25 more copies for those you love,

Thank you!

To all who requested it at their library,

Thank you!

To all who rated and reviewed it,

Thank you!

I cannot say thank you enough!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

And now …

I have already begun my next book. It’s fantastic. 

Part II of the next book is a compilation of your miracles!

If you read All We Can Do and are “trying the experiment” (exercising faith unto repentance), and the veil parts and you receive miracles, I would love add them to the book. 

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can share them with me. You are welcome to invite whoever comes to your mind to share as well. You can use the hashtag #allwecandobook to spread the word. 

Anyone who wants to change their name may do so at will. You can send stories my way via my email address or website:

Christinanjudd@gmail.com

Christinajudd.com

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I love you all!

THANK YOU!

Christina

PS I can sell boxes of my book at a discounted rate. They take ~14 days to arrive to you.

PPS I wish you the most joyous and wonderful holidays!

xxoo

From the Costco parking lot

From the day we walked up the hill to watch the sunset

From Newport Beach

She dominates my brain and now my blog…

Another Podcast!

Hi Everyone!

MayMay is lying in my bed, snoring. 5 seconds pass. Then 10. I start to wonder, Wait. Is she actually asleep? And then a high-pitched “Dus Kiddeen” and I laugh out loud.

I had the most beautiful privilege of chatting with Richard Ostler on his Listen, Learn, and Love Podcast last week. The episode went live yesterday. If you don’t have time for the full hour, feel free to start in the middle. The last 20-30 minutes are especially beautiful.

Here are a few links that will take you there:

SOUNDCLOUD

INSTAGRAM

APPLE PODCASTS

I hope you enjoy it, and would love to hear your thoughts if you get to it.

xo,

Christina

Click here for the book!

Podcast

I cannot say thank you enough to all who purchased, read, shared, and reread All We Can Do. I spent a week in tears listening to Marco Polos and reading screen shots and seeing highlighted portions. My dream was for the book (Jesus) to impact and touch people, to lighten loads, and I cannot say Thank You enough for it doing that. People I don’t even know find it, read it, and then buy 1-10 more copies for those they love. I am on cloud nine “saying nothing but repentance unto this generation” because in repentance all power lies.

Also,

I was on a podcast yesterday that went live today. I got to chat repentance (of course) with Randy on his Spiritual Survival podcast: Does grace save us AFTER "All We Can Do"? Ft Christina Judd | Spiritual Survival Ep 17

I hope you enjoy.

Full of gratitude,

Christina

IT'S HERE!!!!!!!

CLICK HERE TO SEE OR PURCHASE THE BOOK

#ALLWECANDOBOOK

CLICK HERE TO SEE OR PURCHASE THE BOOK

My book is PUBLISHED!

I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!

I love every word of this book, these stories.

I wrote for me. And then, my girls.

If someone else gleans something of value from these pages, I will be forever thankful.

Thank you for your prayers, for sharing this life-changing journey with me.

Until the next one…

Christina

PS If you happen to read it, I would love to hear about it!

Photoshoots?!💥

Hi Everyone!

Lots of news over here 🩵

MY BOOK IS ALMOST DONE!!!!!! My editor and I are wrapping it up. It has an amazing cover, and will soon be formatead beautifully (thank you Brenda Bird!) It will be uploaded to Amazon SOON.

Also, my brother in law started a business! He’s creating and selling hat pins. Click here to see his website. The newest ones coming are rad!

AND! Since my book is done I’m taking on a couple photoshoots.

I have a wedding booked in Newport Beach in June and then I come to Seattle.

Newport Beach: June 9-11

I can take ONE family shoot.

Seattle: June 23-25

I will take FOUR Photoshoots (I shoot purely digital.)

Shoots can take place indoor, outdoor, whatever you want. They will last 45-60 minutes, and cost $300 (payable via Venmo).

Writing has become my favorite pastime. With this book almost out, I hope it’s the beginning of many more—starting with a children’s book my sister and I plan to collaborate on. And, I finally hope to get a podcast or two rolling that have been in the works!

As always, lots of big dreams, and lots more of trying to figure out how to make them happen!

I send my love to each of you, and hope to see you in Seattle 🤍

Christina

sacred ground

As Christ bled from every pore, I find His Father’s response to His son striking. In our Savior’s deepest agony, He poured out His true heart, I can’t do it. It’s too hard. Please take it away. Please don’t make me go through with it.

I recently heard what His Father did not say, “Make sure you’re reading your scriptures and saying your prayers. Do your family history and listen to conference talks. Serve others and go to the temple…” 

I imagined a Father sitting with His son, holding Him, silently near. I felt the space He held, wide open, for His son to honestly express what hurt, what He didn’t like, what He didn’t want to do. I sensed a Father’s stillness, the absent need to fix it, change it, or make it different. He just needed to be there.

I think of the angels who welcomed the extraordinary opportunity to minister to Jesus in His suffering. But what could they do? Almost nothing! They couldn’t make His burden light, couldn’t lessen the suffering, couldn't take His place, couldn't give advice that would make it better. They couldn’t do anything.

Neither did they need to. All that was needed was to be there. To sit. Wait. Watch. Be still. Be near. Be there while He endured the most difficult part of His mortal mission.

Maybe this is some of the most sacred ground we will tread: hearing hearts, honest hearts—the tender feelings not many divulge. 

The angels who accepted that sacred mission became witnesses to their God overcoming His own suffering, and that of an entire world. 

They got to be there.

momentum comes from Jesus

I have a favor to ask everyone: will you please pray for me to finish my book? It has been 3 years. I want to get it out already! I have two children’s books also in the works that I would like out of my head and into whoever’s hands who want them. But I need extra help!

Please and thank you thank you thank you! 

AnnieKate and MayMay,

This mama is full of mortality’s shortcomings, weaknesses, and frailties, but there is nothing of which I am more certain: Jesus Christ and repentance.

The last few weeks I have pondered momentum. 

Where does it come from? How do I get it? 

My recurring thoughts are: come as you are–slow, depleted, with a dead battery, even dead stagnant. It doesn’t matter because momentum comes from Jesus Christ, not works, or goals, or promises. Everything you need and want comes from Him, through repentance.

Culturally we hear “do more, be more, just try. Even if it’s small, do something. Momentum can’t arise from nothing, so start somewhere.”

But what about when I can’t?

One day you may find yourselves like me–crushing it: homeschooling, cooking delicious food, taking care of the baby, doing it all, for a whopping 2.53 seconds! And then, for reasons known or unknown, you find yourselves flat on your face, on the floor, flat as a pancake, no momentum anywhere in sight.

What now? When you lack the strength to get back up, when you don’t even want to, and when you can’t start small, when you don’t even want to, what then?

Consider my life experience and knowledge of Jesus Christ:

Momentum can (and does!) arise out of nothing. 

Momentum can (and does!) come regardless of what we are, or are not, doing. 

Momentum comes from Jesus through our repentance.

Momentum comes because of Jesus Christ, Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

I am not Alpha—my beginning—He is! 

Even my momentum starts with Jesus.

The Savior has perfect momentum! So cry out every woe and difficulty and slipup. Cry out your paralysis. Cry out your pains and frustrations that keep you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do. 

Girls, never forget! You cry until momentum comes. You cry until you are moving in the direction you want to go. And you don’t stop crying until change and miracles come. This is repentance–crying until change and miracles come (Alma 34, 33, 32). This is repentance— “looking to Him in every thought.” Every, every, every thought, regardless of how good or bad, happy or sad.

Jesus is Alpha and Omega–the beginning and end of everything you wish to be, everything you want to do. When you have nothing to give He puts you in motion, not because of what you’ve done but because of everything He did.

He is Alpha, your kickstart, your jumpstart: a “...connection to electrical power…or another source of current; -- an emergency procedure used when a vehicle's own battery has insufficient power to start the vehicle normally. …a speedy start to (an activity) using the assistance of some external impetus...”

When your battery is dead and you have no momentum, when you don’t even want momentum, repentance plugs you into the source of infinite power, infinite momentum, Jesus Christ.

Don’t get hung up on what you need to do, what you’re not doing, what you think you should be doing. Don’t look to yourself in every thought, “look unto Him in every thought”. Send every thought and feeling and problem to Him, every time it arises (repentance). He will do His work: He will send momentum, miracles, and change, even when your battery is dead and you couldn’t be any more stagnant.

When you start to think of what you’re not, “always remember Him” and all He is. Wait for Him, wait on Him, crying out until momentum comes.

I love you. He loves you most, 

Your Mama

tent doors (but not without some repentance!)

I was about to climb into bed and found myself contemplating if I had done everything President Nelson had asked us to do over the last six months. I know he asked us to study last conference’s conference talks, but I find I always get hung up on 1 or 2 that keep me coming back to them over and over. I asked myself, “Was that enough? Did I do enough?”

I don’t even believe in those questions, yet somehow still find myself asking them. I answered my own questions, “Of course it’s enough. I feel the spirit, I follow the spirit. If I kept coming back to only 1 or 2 talks it doesn’t matter. It’s all enough.”

Then I wondered if I was prepared for conference this weekend (I am so dang excited for it!) and thought of King Benjamin and his people—all turning their tent doors to the temple. Then my study got really good and I saw faith and repentance (it’s always there!)

“And they also took of the firstlings of their flocks, that they might offer sacrifice and burnt offerings…”

My mind raced to 3rd Nephi when the Savior tells the Nephites, I don’t want your sacrifices. I don’t want your burnt offerings—I want your heart.

Am I prepared to give my heart this weekend? Will the Savior have my whole heart as I listen to His prophet and apostles?

King Benjamin’s people brought their animal sacrifices “that they might give thanks to the Lord their God…”

Then King Benjamin asked them, “hearken unto me, and open your ears that ye may hear, and your hearts that ye may understand, and your minds that the mysteries of God may be unfolded to your view.”

I hope this weekend our own hearts are filled with the mysteries of God, and with gratitude for the One who gave all. He gave all so my meager, itty-bitty widow’s mite—practically worthless compared to His infinite sacrifice—would always be enough.

I am especially thankful for Him who, in a world that thrives on chaos, sends peace amidst the storm! These days I find myself basking in the overwhelming peace that only comes from the Prince of Peace, regardless of any storms.

My tent door will be facing the temple this weekend (Jesus!) with your tent doors-rejoicing in and worshipping that Lord of Lords and King of Kings, giving thanks with my whole heart.

(watch conference here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts?lang=eng&video=21236952928198668460&mode=watch)

All my love,

Christina

fasting and prayers UNanswered?

It’s Saturday evening. 9pm. I’m studying about Jesus, and agency. My thoughts trailed to fast Sunday tomorrow, how worldwide we have fasted twice for relief from the pandemic. Almost two years later have we found relief or are we still “waging war”?

Did the fasts not work? A worldwide church fasted with the prophet! Did we have enough faith? Did President Nelson?

Of course we have enough faith (however much faith we have is enough faith!)

I remembered long-suffering–enduring the suffering until the blessing comes, enduring His timing, enduring the (uncomfortable) change happening in our hearts that makes them softer, gentler, more like His.

A favorite scripture of mine comes from Lehi who shares his heart with his son, “Wherefore, I know that thou art redeemed, because of the righteousness of thy Redeemer”.

We are not redeemed because of our righteousness, our obedience, or anything else we do. We are redeemed because of the Savior’s perfection, the Savior’s righteousness, “redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah” “and in no other way”. 

I am never excited for fast Sunday but repentance works and I find myself excited for tomorrow (plus, I made chocolate cake. That’s worth any sacrifice…), “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free…[then shall] thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rereward. And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.” His promises will come, they always do. His ways, His timing, is perfect.

2 Nephi 2, Mosiah 3, Isaiah 58

Es sábado por la noche. 21:00. Estoy estudiando Jesús y el albedrío. Mis pensamientos se dirigieron a mañana, día de ayuno, y cómo en todo el mundo hemos ayunado dos veces para aliviar la pandemia. Casi dos años después, ¿hemos encontrado alivio o seguimos “librando la guerra”?

¿No funcionaron los ayunos? ¡Una iglesia mundial ayunó con el profeta! ¿Tuvimos suficiente fe? ¿El presidente Nelson tuvo suficiente fe?

Por supuesto tenemos suficiente fe (¡por mucha fe que tengamos es suficiente fe!)

Recordé la longanimidad: soportar el sufrimiento hasta que llega la bendición, soportar Su tiempo, soportar el cambio (incómodo) que sucede en nuestros corazones que los hace más suaves, más amables, más como los Suyos.

Una de mis escrituras favoritas proviene de Lehi, quien comparte su corazón con su hijo: “Por tanto, sé que eres redimido por la justicia de tu Redentor”.

No somos redimidos por nuestra justicia, nuestra obediencia o cualquier otra cosa que hagamos. Somos redimidos por la perfección del Salvador, la justicia del Salvador, "la redención viene en y por el Santo Mesías" "y de ninguna otra manera".

Nunca estoy emocionado por el ayuno del domingo, pero el arrepentimiento funciona y me encuentro emocionado por el día de mañana (además, hice pastel de chocolate. Eso vale cualquier sacrificio…), “¿No es este el ayuno que he elegido? para desatar las ligaduras de la maldad, para desatar las pesadas cargas, y para dejar en libertad a los oprimidos… [entonces] tu luz brillará como el alba, y tu salud brotará prontamente, e irá tu justicia delante de ti; la gloria del Señor será tu recompensa. Y Jehová te pastoreará siempre, y saciará tu alma en las sequías, y engordará tus huesos; y serás como huerto de riego, y como manantial de aguas, cuyas aguas nunca faltan.” Sus promesas vendrán, siempre vienen, y la hora será perfecta.

2 Nefi 2, Mosias 3, Isaias 58

believing = eternal life

Some people came finding Jesus asking, what do we have to do to be like God?

And Jesus says, just believe in me, just believe me. I came so that whoever believes me I will give eternal life.

And they say, ya, but what do you do?

Their culture is so ingrained in them that they cannot just believe Him. They keep coming back to works: His works, their works, everyone’s works. 

Then, when they go on asking about Moses and the bread Jesus says, I am the bread! I give life. 

Still not understanding they plead, give us this bread!

Again he says, I am the bread! Believe me! I give life. I save. I heal. If you come to me, you will never hunger and never thirst. This is why the father sent me: so whoever believes, whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood will have eternal life.

Is it too simple? Has He made it too easy that we can’t understand, let alone believe it, believe Him? Is our tradition so ingrained in us that we cannot just believe? We have to keep asking, riiiight, but about those works?! Am I DOING it, DOING enough?!? 

When can we just believe? 

Do we keep asking like them, wait?! But what works do we do?! What works do we not do?! What works do you do, Lord?! Works works works. 

And then they murmured at Him because He said all of this stuff about believing.

After their murmuring He tells them again, I am the bread! If you come you will have eternal life.

And STILL they misunderstood, STILL had to prod, “how can we eat his flesh?”

What more could he say?! He said it all, “whoever comes I will be in them. Them in me. I will raise them up at the last day.”

It doesn’t matter where we are in our coming. We just come. Wherever we are we keep coming. We are going to make it; we already have.

IT IS THIS EASY!

But it wasn’t enough for the people. He wasn’t enough. They left. 

So the Savior asks his 12, are you going, too?

And what do they respond?! The most beautiful, perfect, glowing words, “We believe you. Thou art the Christ, the son of the Living God.”

It is this easy. We are not earning our way home, “work”-ing our way home, doing our way home.

We are believing our way home. He already did—and continues to do—alllll the rest. 

All that is left for us to do is believe.

(John 3 and 6. And every other scripture in every other book ;))

Algunas personas vinieron a Jesús preguntando, ¿qué tenemos que hacer para ser como Dios?

Y Jesús dice, sólo cree en mí, sólo créeme. Vine para que al que cree en mí le dé vida eterna.

Y dicen, ya, pero ¿qué haces?

Su cultura estaba tan arraigada en ellos que no pudieron simplemente creerle. Siguen volviendo a las obras: Sus obras, las obras de ellos, las obras de todos.

Entonces, cuando siguen preguntando de Moisés y el pan, Jesús dice: ¡Yo soy el pan! Yo doy vida!

sin entender suplican, ¡danos este pan!

De nuevo dice, ¡Yo soy el pan! ¡Créame! doy vida. Yo sano. Yo consuelo. Yo salvo. Si vienes a mí, nunca tendrás hambre ni sed. Para esto me envió el padre: para que el que crea, el que coma mi carne y beba mi sangre, tenga vida eterna.

¿Es demasiado simple para nosotros? ¿Lo ha hecho demasiado fácil que no podemos entender, mucho menos creerlo, creerle? ¿Nuestra cultura y tradición está tan arraigada en nosotros que no podemos simplemente creer? Tenemos que seguir preguntando, claro, pero ¿sobre esas obras? ¿Lo estoy HACIENDO, HACIENDO lo suficiente?

¿Cuándo podemos simplemente creer?!

¿O tenemos que seguir preguntando como ellos preguntaron, espera? ¡¿Pero qué obras hacemos?! ¡¿Qué obras no hacemos?! ¡¿Qué obras haces, Señor?! Funciona funciona funciona.

La gente le murmuraron a Él porque Él dijo todas estas cosas del creer.

Después de sus murmuraciones Él les dice de nuevo, ¡Yo soy el pan! Si vienes tendrás vida eterna.

Y TODAVÍA entendieron mal, TODAVÍA tuvieron que insistir, "¿cómo podemos comer su carne?"

¡¿Qué más podría decir?! Él lo dijo todo, “quienquiera que venga, yo estaré en ellos. ellos en mi. Yo los resucitaré en el último día.”

No importa dónde estemos en nuestra venida. Solo venimos. Dondequiera que estemos, seguimos viniendo. Lo vamos a lograr; ya lo hemos logrado!!

¡ES ASÍ DE FÁCIL! Solo creemos.

Pero no fue suficiente para la gente. Él no fue suficiente. Se fueron.

Entonces el Salvador le pregunta a sus 12, ¿tú también vas?

¡¿Y qué responden?! Las palabras más bellas, perfectas y resplandecientes: “Te creemos. Tú eres el Cristo, el hijo del Dios Viviente.”

Es así de fácil. No nos estamos ganando el camino a casa, “trabajando” para llegar a casa, haciendo nuestro camino a los cielos.

Estamos creyendo nuestro camino a casa. Ya hizo, y hace, todo lo demás.

(Juan 3 y 6. Y todas las demás escrituras en todos los demás libros;))

Just Jesus

My three beautiful girls,

Damion stopped me in the store tonight raving about the cashew sour cream I held in my hand, the juicery he owns in Layton, his favorite kimchi on the shelf, and “Taron Johnson who plays for the Bills, #24, is my best friend!”

I had just wrapped up a writing zoom seminar and was thinking about the books I’m writing, why I’m writing them. When the conversation about food and healthy gut biome ended, of course my mind continued the conversation (KLOVE had been cranked in the car and I was rocking out to Promises), “I’m writing books…religious books…” Then wondered, are they religious? Are they Christian? LDS? How do I categorize the books I’m writing?

In my experience, once something is labeled it gets murky. Then when I try to describe it it is constrained to “that thing”.

I started attending the temple every week again (it’s been two weeks ;). A best friend and I meet there, sit in the celestial room, discuss things on our mind, in our hearts. I feel revelation beginning to flow again. I have more questions and subsequently feel more answers.

And so continued my trail of thoughts. …writing an LDS book puts it in a box—an LDS box. Writing a Christian book puts it in a Christian box.

I’m writing Jesus books, no box.

Maybe sometimes even the church gets between us and Jesus.

Maybe the church is just a vehicle that gets me to the temple, and the temple is a vehicle that gets me to Jesus.

Girls, I have one wish for you: don’t get caught up in the myriad of voices at home, at church, anywhere. Go find Jesus—preferably in His house. He will tell you everything you want to know.

I love you more than you love me, your mama

Mis tres hermosas chicas

Damion me detuvo en la tienda esta noche delirando sobre la crema agria de anacardo que tuve en la mano, la compañía de jugo de que es dueno en Layton, su kimchi favorito en la estantería, y "Taron Johnson, que juega para los Bills, # 24, es mi mejor amigo ! "

Acababa de terminar un seminario de escritura por zoom y estaba pensando en los libros que estoy escribiendo, por qué los estoy escribiendo. Cuando terminó la conversación sobre la comida y el bioma intestinal saludable, mi mente continuó la conversación, "Estoy escribiendo libros ... libros religiosos ..." Pero pensé, son ellos religiosos? ¿Son cristianos? ¿Cómo categorizo ​​los libros que estoy escribiendo?

En mi experiencia, una vez que se etiqueta algo, se vuelve turbio. Luego, cuando trato de describirlo, se limita a esa categoría, y no se puede pertenecer a ningún otro.

Empecé a asistir al templo todas las semanas de nuevo (han pasado dos semanas). Un mejor amigo y yo nos reunimos allí, nos sentamos en el salón celestial, discutimos las cosas que tenemos en la mente, en el corazón. Siento que la revelación comienza a fluir de nuevo. Tengo más preguntas y siento más respuestas que vienen de los cielos.

Y así continuó mi rastro de pensamientos. … Escribir un libro de la iglesia lo pone en una caja. Escribir un libro cristiano lo pone en una caja cristiana.

Estoy escribiendo libros de Jesús, no caja.

Quizás a veces la iglesia se interpone entre nosotros y Jesús.

Quizás la iglesia es solo un vehículo que me lleva al templo, y el templo es un vehículo que me lleva a Jesús. Él hace todo lo demás.

Niñas, tengo un solo deseo para ustedes: no se dejen atrapar por la miríada de voces en casa, en la iglesia, en cualquier lugar. Ve a buscar a Jesús, preferiblemente en Su casa. Él te dirá todo lo que quieras saber.

Las amo más de lo que me aman a mí, tu mamá

love and light unmatched

My beautiful girls,

You will never have more power to dream and do and become then you will bound to Christ through covenant. He wants nothing more than to give you all the priesthood power you need to reach your brilliant potential. He has endowed you with infinite gifts, power, and light that can only increase as you co-create your life with Him, the Master creator. As you learn to submit your will to His, He will fill you with His perfect love and infinite power. Hand in hand with Him, the mark you leave on the world, on His children, will “grow brighter and brighter until the perfect day”.

I am full of gratitude that we get to learn to love as He loves. Love, Your Mama

Mis hermosas chicas,

Nunca tendrás más poder para imaginar, hacer, o llegar a ser de lo que tienes atado a Cristo a través de los convenios. Él te ha dotado de infinitos dones, poder y luz que a medida que co-creas tu vida con Él, el Creador, solo puede aumentar. Él no quiere nada más que darte todo el poder del sacerdocio que necesites para alcanzar tu brillante potencial. A medida que aprendas a someter tu voluntad a la suya, serás lleno de Su amor perfecto, y la marca que dejas en el mundo, en Sus hijos, sin fin.

Tu Mamá

I am closing my photography business. I have cameras and gear for sale (Canon 1V, Sigma 24mm 1.4 for Canon, a Sekonic L-508 light meter, leather camera strap for two cameras…).

All pic-time picture galleries will close in two months. There are coupon codes all over the Pic-Time galleries for 55% off anything you order (anyone can use them.)

PLEASE DOWNLOAD ALL YOUR PICTURES BEFORE JANUARY 1. EVERYTHING WILL BE DELETED FROM PIC-TIME.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TAKE YOUR PICTURES. I HAVE LOVED ALL OF IT!!!

Happy holidays!

All my love,

Christina

MayMay-cita

May Marielle Judd came Jul 20th around 3am (I think ;))

She is a dreamboat and we do nothing but swoon over her (well, there’s not a ton of swooning every 2-3 hours all night, but during the day she is perfection in baby form.)

There is radio silence over here while we maul our baby, and get back into homeschool and extracurriculars, but I did want to share something I was part of this morning:

My friend, Tracy’s, The Thy Neighbor Podcast.

This is our 37 minute chat, where I bare the things of my soul regarding faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, and why suffering.

These are my favorite topics in the entire world. This podcast is full of my rambling, emotion, and deeply imperfect communication skills, but if you listen, I hope you hear the Savior talking to you, more than either of us.

My love runs deep for Him, His mercy, His grace, His priesthood power that He sends to everyone who wants it.

Here are the links to listen:

Podbean: https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-iunr2-1115f98

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7z0CPJhWynJQmD09MQb4s1?si=YwKTuFcnSiOpgCGBC2AINw

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-thy-neighbor-podcast/id1445335496?i=1000539839295

Stitcher: https://listen.stitcher.com/yvap/?c=sharelink&af_dp=stitcher://episode/87819587&af_web_dp=https://www.stitcher.com/episode/87819587&deep_link_value=stitcher://episode/87819587

All my love for each of you. I do have letters to write soon - especially to our newest MayMay, who I still cannot believe we get to call ours.

Love, Christina